Monday, August 21, 2006

Lunch

All RBI Master Circulars and case law on non-competes one on side, and on the other- the issue of who to go to lunch with.
Now, it does seem gay to ASK a friend in a distant cubicle for lunch. I mean, I can't pick up the phone and say, Hey want to come for lunch without sounding like I should be a blonde woman with a breathy voice after you dial a 1800 number. I have seen girls do this, and it's one of the few things women can get away with. In most things, men can get away with more so I am cool.
So the only option is to throw my head back casually and ask the Almost New Associate, Lunch? as if I am asking him for a stapler so if the stapler isn't there it is not like I will take it personally or something.
But he is the junior of my boss' rival. So if my boss sees me with him, it's like I am having an affair or something.
I can't walk up to my boss and ask for lunch.
So basically I starve till 1:30 and wait if my boss asks me. If he doesn't, I walk out like I am going to get a print out or something, and then just slip into the lift and stand in line for food talking so much to the person before or after me in line that others think that I came in a group
[HR Woman is spreading rumors about me. What to do. Can't stoop and hit below the sequinned belt.]

20 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with Anonymous.
It is you.
What happened to bridalbeer?
And the Jewish beau?

5:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is this blog anti sequin or pro bling?

11:09 PM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

this blog is unjudgmental. no anti/pro, this that. imagine for example, being
anti-tea cup, pro-umbrellas.
why invent a vikram-vetal kind of jurisprudential approach to everything.

1:45 AM  
Blogger Smith said...

hmmmm.....i don't know if it's who anonymous claimed it was.....but i am getting dead certain that the happy lawyer is a woman...many many clues....99% certain

11:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who are u???? :)

5:25 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

i am a male fairy.

6:14 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

smith, share your clues. please! please! please!
ok don't.
whatever.
(see-i can pretend to be a woman)

6:17 AM  
Blogger orange egg said...

nope smith.. he's a man. women dont have this vicious sense of humour (and happy, i mean that as a compliment)

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

leave happy alone. man/woman...who cares? enjoy the blog

10:24 PM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:55 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

hm, thanks anon.
at times though, happy doesn't like to be left alone. bridal beer says i am socially anorexic and actively reject attention, but i find it vaguely endearing to sense speculation.
smith and orange egg, a hegde-brownie to both of you. i always suspected the brownies were wet shiny becase he licked them individually before packing each one into the plastic ( and then stapling.)

1:58 AM  
Blogger Smith said...

well....actually the clues are as follows, some of which may reveal my very traditional (ist?) view of male traits and female traits...but indulge me...i (literally) grew up in a backwater:

1) the constant assertion of masculinity (and heterosexual masculinity at that) ..."for a guy to say this"...etc., you'll find lots of them all over the place....seems like the an overcompensation necessitated by the fictitious nature of the masculinity referred to! this includes the attempts at male chauvinism, including that discourse on how women should dress when dressing formally etc,.

2) which brings me to point no.2 which is that happy appears to possess an acute sense of fashion...casual remarks on shades of lip-stick, and/or the types of clothes someone is wearing, (and a sequined belt) to me indicate that the chances of happy being female are high

3)consciousness of and reference to colours....(yee haw, i am barging headlong into the flaming stereotype territory)...the blue of the walls of a cafe, the yellow of a tie...etc., etc.,...in my reckoning men don't notice colours...let alone comment on them

of course....at the end of all this happy might be a guy...and if that is so...and i know some guys are highly likely to be offended on being accused of being feminine....i must apologise for any offence caused....(although for all the above reasons i would at least assume that it was a guy who was in touch with this 'feminine side' and consequently not so likely to be offended)...

cheers!

11:07 PM  
Blogger Smith said...

and thank you for the hegde brownie...although it's not strictly a brownie...because it isn't crumbly and stuff....it's still my favourite brownie of all time....even a fuckall day (for eg., one which involved [seeing/meeting/speaking with/hearing about/being reminded of the existence of] Lizzie) could be made bearable with a Hegde Brownie....

11:15 PM  
Blogger BridalBeer said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:15 PM  
Anonymous happyassociate said...

Your analysis is well-reasoned and well-researched. However I disagree with your conclusion.
Therefore, since I am not Her/It, I still give you an O.

8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah smithy, i agree. i think the "only time when a man gets a period" line was particularly revealing.

1:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you didn't ask somebody to lunch because you thought you'd be perceived to be gay? you are DEFINITELY a woman trying to write like a man. no man i know measures each act he performs on the gay scale before acting. no man i know is this insecure. you are either a woman, or the most insecure guy on the face of this planet.

3:38 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

hey, i know about periods. especially the ones with WINGS. i even own stock in HLL, so every time a woman gets a period chances are i am making money, or atleast the net distributable profits are increasing.

yeah about lunch, i can't invite people by placing 5 phone calls. can u imagine a kitty party of office-boys?

3:44 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

hey anon,
do u thread your eyebrows? it's an issue with me, coz they join but if i go thread them 1. i may be caught and the news spreads (in old hindu mythology the barber was the gossip pot, a little like HR); and 2. it should not look obviously threaded. maybe i should shave them off interely and then sew the perfectly imperfect eyebrows by a discreet surgeon.
i know this is tangential to your comment, but it's just a thought.

3:47 AM  
Blogger Smith said...

Thank you for the 'O' (pasting it into my word processor informs me that it is not a zero)...

oh ya...the last but one comment....i like the disingenuousness, "i know about periods, especially the ones with wings"...that again strengthens my theory a bit...

12:20 AM  

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