Monday, August 28, 2006

Phone

Why does the firm pay for associates to SMS girls who want to be elevated to girlfriend status by reaching the 10 SMS a day mark?
Or to girl-associates who think they can attain girlfriend-status by a continuous flow of SMS messages?

Who do these get billed to? Why not just let HR handle the evolution of inter-personal relationships? That way their salaries will be better utilized and their unofffical work will get official recognition.

A memo:

"All personal messages on cellphones shall hereinforth be directed to HR, with the intended reciepient indicated. The HR thereafter shall forward the message to the appropriate recipeient with reasonable modifications.

When HR deems fit, it can forward messages to multiple employees in the interest of maintaining personal relationships and effective communication. Excessive messaging can result in investigation by HR where the entire interaction between private parties has to be revealed including what who said about whom.

Dating and any substantial alteration of personal relations without prior notice can result in a suitable deduction of bonus.

Should HR obtain information that employees possess any unshared sensitive information (such as Valentine's Day cards) for social and sexual benefit, it could lead to appopriation of all office stationery and the computer assigned to the employee.

Explanation:
"Dating" and "personal relations" includes dating and personal relations of schedulded Friends. Please submit a list of friends who are currently employeed at our Firm and submit quarterly changes.
An extensive schedule of Friends is encouraged and can have a positive impact on your performance review.

Employees are thereby advised to hereinafter only use instant messaging for personal use, and upto reasonable limits.
What is reasonable depends on the employee's personal equation with HR.

This memo was effective ten months ago."

3 Comments:

Blogger orange egg said...

i've been wondering what your writing reminds me of and i finally figured it out.. its english, august.

mr. happy, i don't know who you are (and that's a good thing..law schoolites rarely like each other); but you are one of that rare breed.. a blogger with genuine talent.

Salut!

10:23 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:50 PM  
Blogger orange egg said...

my fav agastya line:

he was so fat that when he squatted to shit he had to flip his boobs behind his shoulder so that they wouldn't tickle his balls!

10:28 AM  

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