I am a Bombay Bai

I am a Bombay Bai. Don't try to guess my identity, because even you are right, what's the point? Will it increase your CGPA, CV or bonus? Will it increase your airmiles? Do you really think if you tease me enough like a cycling Dev Anand teased Nutan, I will gift you my gender, beauty, loyal asexual following of single males and recruiters, mextrosexual gold necklaces including medals, my rare smile that light lamps in the hearts of dubious youngish lawyers, the real estate I own, and my mature modesty?

Instead, try winning at this legal quiz: Which press note allowed single brand retailing? Quick! The winner gets a massage from me, and two if he dresses up in ethnic Maharashtrian women-sari and performs the lavni. Winner, wear dirty pyjamas (the checked ones, like late 1990s college fashion) and lie down. Ago Mathaila paijama pain na, Masta maalish karegee mai.