Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Latest

She sings to me, this new associate, "Arrrrey 8 is the latest I have ever left on a weekend."
Now I have become cunning like a cobra. See that sentence: 8 is the latest I have ever left AND THIS IS QUALIFIED BY "on a weekend." It does NOT reveal how many weekends she has worked.
So I asked her, while typing my due diligence report for a soap company very casually, "That's OK New Asspciate but how many weekends have you stayed back?" While I spoke, I could have been talking to the screen-I wanted to look casual.
And THEN right after dialouge-delivery, I turned back sharply to look at her, to catch her real expression.
I can tell you she looked spooked, and said sung as though it was a question, "Like, two for far?" Q.E.D. I am the King Cobra now, and no, spare me any sexual connotations especially relating to SHEDDING.
And this pin-striped New Associate (why do these girls dress like they are out of some Star TV episode? why so much copying? i have never seen suit-boot in india, why dress like that to be taken seriously? can they ever look as hot as anorexic blonds who have slept their way to top acting roles? kya tashan mana rahe hain yeh ladkiyan. professional IMAGE ke naam par)
Anyway she flirted with me afterwards because she suspected I had begun to realize she was political. At one point, the suit-piece covering her left breast almost hit my nose.
It's just not done, all-this in the office. I dislike unsolicited breast-attacks. All this should be in my control.
So to stop her I had to say in the evening, yeah-yeah, two weekends is a lot. Otherwise the right breast will be rubbed into my face soon.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Happy

Seems like New Associate has the makings of a very successful lawyer.

Keep writing on about the trials and tribulations of your law firm, its a great read!!

5:29 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

Thanks, generous reader. I like to think that I am already a successful lawyer, and I have the makings of a good blogger:-)
I suffer from performance anxiety (professionally only) so I have not instaled SiteMeter.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous BridalBeer said...

What about the men in Suit-Boot? Can they look as hot as tall white men on TV?

10:45 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:50 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

Bridal Bee,
Thanks for your typically fiesty comment. (See, I know fancy words like fiesty.))
Indian men have been wearing suits as the country turned desi from white. In any case as far as my memory goes (Bollywood included as historic evidence), Indian men have been in suits since the 40s.
For women it is new. I have some academic curiosity about exactly who and when led this movement that OK from today we have to dress like firangs on firang TV. Atleast men copied from the Brits who ruled us and then kept looking westwards for fashion updates.
Women put on the telescopes and copied at one shot a few years ago. Why? I'm a MCP = Male Curious Person

10:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are an ass...which woman would want to come near you also...make urself happy by thinking

12:19 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

are you making a pass at me, asha parekh-style?
i don't blog to win a popularity contest (i won that long ago)

12:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i see a nice try to push the boss's wife off track! :)

5:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude, ur blog is out there.

7:08 AM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

hey anon,
i couldn't tell what your comment means. would love to know more.

8:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dont think a cobra or for that matter any cobra was ever associated with the trait of cunningness. Fox i belive is the animal that is traditionally used to represent that.

and frankly yours doesnt quite match up to from where i assume you have borrowed the idea/inspiration. nevertheless it is fun to be told about the happenings of events and non-events alike within an indian firm

11:06 PM  
Anonymous happylawyer said...

what does "your blog is out there" mean? i need to know all possible local slangs, in case they are employed in my favour or against me.
also about fox- literary life is about drawing local animals and other objects to test universal traits such as slyness.
but this isn't the place to teach you or me about literary appreciation.
thanks for enjoying. keep coming back although i don't have sitemeter it is good to know people take 1 minute of the day to read this in spite of the information overload of this age.

4:33 AM  
Anonymous Xena said...

Happy, i think you are making such a sexist comment! Why must not women be suited and booted? If you are matching = to men, and if men are suited, why cant women be?

9:40 PM  
Blogger The Happy Lawyer said...

Xena (sexy name)
Women can wear all they want-or better still-nothing at all!
I am just analyzing how the dress sense evolved.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Xena said...


Since you an an MCP, am trying to u'stand whether you are analysing the dress sense evolution of men. Do you care about whether Xena is sexy name or not? Unfortunately, witty men like you are busy being curious about Men! (MCP)and thats my classic problem! (read my vent cafe posts)

11:43 PM  

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