Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Your Quota of Serious Reading

So another day has dusked (why always "dawned") taking with it a feather of a passing pigeon, a heartbreak, a Registrar's MoU.....

Somehow girls love it when I write like this and I get all sorts of mail which I know are disguised proposals from girls but I am the Dude, unfazed, and walk to the neighborhood bar, sit on a wood stool with a big cap (like they wear in Zoo or in Western movies), and smoke a cigarette making an imaginary duck in the air with the smoke. Basically this is an attitude so when I walk in Karol Bag careful of not touching semi-washed elbows of the Crowd, this is what I am, the man with a hat, the smoke, the duck.

And you all know by now that the best part of my job is the Registrar's MoU. It's got even more exciting due to the May 08 Regs re intermediaires -and registrars are intermediaries. Only hope is that Ad Agency guy will not comment- this is his favourite agreement, followed by some distance by the Issue Procedure chapter.

I think I need to go back coz the final Banker has confirmed the draft so now I have to pass on the parcel to the Company, silver bow and all, tied to perfection as I learnt to in my school day embroidery classes. And that's a metaphor before y'all call me a Gay.

Friday, June 20, 2008

This and That

Monsoons are misty-green trees and a sea dreaming in brown. The window is blind with water, and all I can hear is the sound of the printer.Some client has requested us to "do the needful"

Except the task is not needed.

And if I make the minor change and circulate then again same ad-agency guy who is being marked on all mails for some reason will comment, throw some amendment and get more over-involved than even the ILC who is writing all sorts of comments on Notes on Capital Structure and Basis of Issue Price. Never mind that his business section is a poor copy of the khokha he started with. The issuer company is showing as a competitor in Business Section of that khokha and this is the 8th circulated version.

Friday, June 13, 2008


I told one Banker-Boy that he is a worm and even worms have nutritional qualities for Chinese people at least he has none of that going for him.
He wanted to work in a stupid clause into the agreement and when I didn't agree he called others in the firm to see if they could slip it in as if it was like inserting a rat in a drawer. Ultimately he called an intern (who had been posing as associate and looking very troubled and sending mails at 11 pm after pizzas and all) and that's when I told him Worm Thing.
So I was like, look you want to add something you think your Client won't like, you put it on email, don't whisper to me at midnight on phone while saying OK-OK on email to All. Worm (second time I used that worm-word) If you are shy to talk to client like a new bride is to make in-laws, then atleast the rest of us onboard through the right channels, not sneaking here and there. Just grow a backbone, call a conference, write an email, don't bribe me by midnight whispers about the indemnity-business, don't think the Intern can slip it in either so stop tele-marketing across the firm and lobbying with interns and all.
So now he has crept away, his hundred arms moving slowly into a an anthill of Nariman Point.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


Today while killing time with others by drinking from an empty cup, coffee long-gone, I said with very distant eyes the kind that make me look like Shah Rukh of 90s, "Time flies."

So Slapping Girl-Associate sips from her empty cup which has stolen her lipstick, and says like a fighter-cock, "Yeah so? Why shouldn't it? It won't sit, like still?"

I gave her an eye-slap and said, why are you here hanging around for last one hour. Alteast you can pretend to work.

She got so shocked that sometimes even I can say bad words that she was like, "dude, what's wrong with you today?"

So I was like, "Why? Can't I be wrong today?" imitating her fighting style but something sounded bit off, so I hurried back to the computer. Anyway my Orkut was open didnt want peons and all to be sending friend-requests from my account to gigolo-type boys.

Monday, June 09, 2008

More poetry on Sea (Not Downloaded From Net)

Monsoon brown
Girnar tea
Arabian sea
In a flood
Floating cup

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Internally Reviewed

To write something is being "internally reviewed" waves a wand in the mind, and we think of four men, an oak table, staring at a document (and ocassionally at each other), a magnifying glass, the echoes of a clock etching time on the neat wall.

Actually it just means an early 20s boy is too busy flirting on Facebook to take the time to do homework, chat with Senior about the answer, and has sent a "please keep quiet till I tell you to talk" mail to the working group.

I love early 20s boys for their ease of operations. Early 20s boys have the zest for life, can catch an amendment in the air and spin it like pizza dough, they are the best movie and car critics, their screensavers and yells make the office a livelier place and the world easier to work in, and they can format like a machine.

Many are frequently attractive as the hair-losing starts only after 25.5, not like a dude like me cares but am just being objective. I have my bike, my buddies (not all Orkut-types, please) and when I wear that red Raga shirt, I feel like King, man. I even have an imaginary guitar.

I say this since I am now no longer in my early 20s. I am in fact in my mid-twenties, don't like Heidi Klum and other too thin foreign IPL cheerleader type so much (I was forced to like them due to peer pressure) and now prefer the more real ones like those in Shaadi.com ad with sthethescope to the ear and even the new sleazier avtaar of Amrita Rao and all this means I am just being pulled closer to my roots. I even pray sometimes, not in an obvious sort of way by visiting temples and all like a child-wanting wife bribing God by extra attention, but you know, by say buying a cool Ganesh from a cool shop and putting it on the desk and not caring a damn. That sort of thing.

The mid-20s are fun. I know who I am, don't hate myself for it. I am still young, most girls around my age are either not married and happy which makes them easy to be with, or not married and desparate to be so, which just makes them easy. I win both ways.

Like y'all know, I rock. Or is that too 2005? I'm a little nervous about using slang these days.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Found in Translation

Some associates were reviewing (cut/pasting from) Bengali to English translated copies of litigation papers. Apparently, the translated copies had references to a lot of boy-boy cheap humour and all.
So the more intelligent one suspected that it was the translator who was acting too smart.
It became a filing bottleneck, as all was done and delivered and even the auditors had finished circling and colouring and were now playing around. So I was like, chuck it, let's put "We don't have a few litigation papers some of which may be material" in Risk factor and slip a line in cover letter, promising we will add at RHP stage so the other DLC just pasted it on coz it was last minute and all, and no time for ILC re-sign off.
But problem came when after filing someone discovered that the dubious translations had actually made it into the SEBI-filed document and litigation section was not fit to be read by some sort of decent government official, black spectacles, checkered shirt, moustache, paperweight and all.
Now I am fearing SEBI interim observations, what they will say and am too shy to ask translator so I just told associate in a faint-voice to "work things out" which basically means find a way by which the entire working group takes liablitiy for things. Also known in cooler circles as "keeping them in the loop" by the way.
Then I even felt like asking translator to translate some of the more difficult cases from English to easier English; giving him DRHP drafting style etc. But doubt if clients will pay for it and bankers also will raise issues.
Let us wait for US to do it; then we can copy in name of global convergence.
Bye. Don't spend too much time on the Internet and especially don't talk to strangers too much.