Thursday, September 28, 2006


Somehow my mother never asks me to get married. I was hoping for a lot of photographs and profiles so I could feel like a sexual god, so many women so little time kind of thing, but nothing.
Maybe she thinks I am still too young.
I have no idea why people get married. I think it's just to keep everyone quiet. So it's like the Tipping Point (intellectual quota of the week done): you marry when there's a lot of noise about the lack of it in your life. Noise= From outside + within your dirty porn-infested heart.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Harry Potter Thoughts n a Law Firm

What if they gave bonus in kind? Like dowry- a car, some metrosexual silver jewellery, a trip to France.
What if they gaev bonus as potluck, your gift in chits? Dip your hand-you could win a Swiss watch (sorry I am not cool enough to insert a suitable brand, and T.H and Rolex won't do), a trip to Simla, or even a job at a foreign law firm.
All this is good talk if you want to impress a girl. It must be said in a husky voice else it makes the guy saying it look too hee-hee. And no use of hand gestures.

Monday, September 25, 2006


A friend visited, and has apparently hacked into my Blogger.
Some social damage has been caused (deleted Orkut friends' profiles) and a different photo of me.
When I was younger and poorer, in non-designer clothes.
A couple of Maxims are missing.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Thursday, September 21, 2006


Three thin men are there in the company counsel's team. And we keep fighting, fighting, fighting.
I wish I was thinner.
I would hate to lose a few pointless arguments about 2.2.2 and 2.2.1. But I would love to lose kilos.
This way, I will only look acceptable in a safari suit. Uncle with Chameli not as a hot girl, but as hair oil.
On weekends, I should be wearing shirts that are striped at slanting angles: party-wear for thin young guys. I should be meeting women, and signing autographs.
Instead, I will be reviewing 300 pages of a document for typos. Noone will read it. Except three thin men, and thats scary.
Fuck, I have lost my swiping card. I will be spending Sunday at work and won't have a record to show for it.
Sucks man.


Happy Associate just got happier

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


I don't ever want to marry a woman. They usually get drunk and throw expensive wine on my face. Wine I paid for.
My hairstyle gets totally ruined.


I don't ever want to marry a woman. They usually get drunk and throw expensive wine on my face. Wine I paid for.
My hairstyle gets totally ruined.

Sunday, September 17, 2006


Unhappiness is like a typo. Correct it as soon as you see it.
Also, do a Global (Ctl+F) and delete all other types of unhappiness.
And then read over and look at words that MS Word won't catch in red and are typos anyway. Like "The Company may alter the colour of its sexy lingerie and this may adversely affect performance" in Risk Factors.
Then go deeper. You can't use adjectives in the prospectus-SEBI says no. Correct those as well.

This is the Zen of law.

Zen also used to be a car I am too rich and insecure to even think of now.

Friday, September 15, 2006


Old-fashioned lala companies had farewell parties where rows of safari suits clapped, and the gentleman got a statue as a gift.

Instead of charging a few thousands from people in the firm for alcohol shared by those staying back*, why not gift the gentleman a vacation in Egypt? It's more creative, personalized and meaningful.

Or just a statue of silver. Or platinum, for the most fashionable.

*Modified in interest of accuracy

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Some Guy

Some Lateral Associate has joined. He is New but looks Old not just because of his hairline but also Old within the Firm because he knows all the partners and associates from the Quad Days as he calls them.
And he uses the word "arbit" a lot. Arbit section, some arbit clause, arbit sometimes as a substitute for oh i heard you and i agree that situation sucks.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


Almost New Associate has suddenly turned frigid. I asked him for a Nokia charger and he gave it to me without even looking at me, and his face turned the opposite side a little too much. Like he is trying to say look see I am not talking to you.
I am sick of trying to manaao Ex-Girlfriend when she gets angry over the smallest of things like my taking calls from other girls when I am in a movie with her and calling one of them my "best friend."
So last thing I want is this Almost New guy reminding me of her face.
I think when the phone gets charged it will be odd returning it to him, like I am trying to start a conversation. I will just keep it on his desk like a paperweight when my phone gets charged and he is away from his desk and in the library reading LLM application papers stuck inside some random 1948 AIR Manual.

Monday, September 11, 2006

If not IIT

If attempts at IITs fail, there is always social engineering.

If not IIT

If attempts at IITs fail, there is always social engineering.

Thursday, September 07, 2006


"I am dying," said Amost New Associate. He flipped his tie behind his shoulder like women do with the tails of their saris.
This flip-tie look is only good on TV, that too remember you have to be good-looking enough for the director to be interested in sleeping with you first.
The flip-tie look isn't for guys for whom college days are a distant memory, and who work till morning to midnight, and order dhaaba food. Or even pretend to work that long- in either case they are not getting exercise. Guys who think some foreign-shirt and foreign male fragrance can compensate for their fading sex appeal.
The flip-tie look is probably the equivalent of a woman tucking in her sari-tails into her petticoat-it means, look at me, I am busy.
The flip-tie look can work only when the tie's label can set Madison Avenue on fire, and then all it means is, look- here is this cool tie I spent a bunch of money for, I am better than you. Then you unflip it casually.

Monday, September 04, 2006


"What's the update on [Deal X]?" Female Associate asked me in front of Female Boss.
Both their earrings stood like mini-lamp shades, and I had to meditate for two seconds to take the situation seriously. One of the lampshades reflected light, and turned emerald green to aqua blue, and other colors I do not have the vocabulary or patience for.
"Um. That's YOUR deal, isn't it? I only helped you for a couple of days. I'm not in the loop atall though I would love to be and frankly expected it. Please do atleast mark me on the mails next time." And I didn't smile. I didn't pretend it was a joke, or a flirt, or a spoof.
The cellphone rang, and Anu Malik's O o o oo o Yeh Kaali Kaali Aakhen destroyed the moment. I cut the call but nevertheless.