Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Dude

One girl-lawyer thinks she is a MTV VJ. I think I will tell her you look so manly we should just called you Vijay. But then she will slap me.
Anyway so today she was like so dude, etc etc Now when a girl calls a guy dude you know that behind the back she bitches about him. Mathematically flipping the axiom over like a Sagar dosa, if some girl does not bitch about you it is also very likely that she does not call you dude.
(I know some of you have not understood it but you then you may as well pretend you do and smile)
Once more this girl-lawyer VJ-woman calls me dude and just see I will start calling HER dude and that girls hate I know. Saw how sly I am?

Saturday, May 26, 2007

The best days

I realized that these are probably the best days of my life. I'm young with no other responsibilities apart from work and have freedom which I can theoretically exercise
The best days of my life/Things will only get worse and life more complicated:
This thought is alarming and swear-provoking.
It applies to you too fuckers so stop laughing. In some years the TC girls will call you Uncle if they don't already and if you happen to be with a cool girl they will assume you have picked-up.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Junior girl-lawyers

Junior girl-lawyers are tricky. For them I have to throw in arbit-Fab India type shirts that are borderline gay and maybe a silver necklace once in a while. I also have to constantly be Orkut-vigilant and keep deleting scaps which make me uncool like some line in Hindi dropped by an undersocialized school-friend about drinks, or liking men or something they think funny. I also have to do design my Orkut friend list in the optimal way so it looks like I have the optimal selection of qualified girls-boys, good lookers, college friends, work friends, rock band types, 2-3 IIT people, some in US/London, some party-types. I may need to hire a secretary for all-this. Also downloading the right songs and playing them, talking about them- very important for the younger set. With dudes, just liking Pink Floyd is fine and not touching them too much I avoid that these days.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Cars

I am thinking of getting a new car-something bigger, and more expensive. I think Swift is for girls and Zen is very 1990s Marutis are vintage Ambassadors are best for me to pretend I have never heard of then those jeep-like cars can fuck off coz I am not starring in some Thumbs Up toofaani thanda ad what else is there I have to go and see.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Some people say this blog is getting less funny. I will retaliate like a true jerk and say your sense of humour is going to the dogs.
Anyway one girl-intern likes me coz whenever I smile at her she smiles back. Anyway how do I care. I just don't care. She may join, she may join. Anyway now she is asking me out. Actually I only told her want to go for dinner and she was like OK fine whatever.
Anyway now she thinks I am a mentor and comes to me for advice on starting sals at competing firms etc and she does not realize I use her to get info of starting sals as much as she uses me coz I am also so curious or rather "aware." So she is like, should I accept the offer. I was like there is no offer but she is like IF I get an PPO. I was like we will talk then when you do. Am I am fool sitting in some firm where some intern can take for granted she will get PPO.
Bye for now. Enjoy your lame lives.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Weighted smiling

OK today I smiled at 2 people I did not like atleast 4 times. That's 8 smiles. I aim to move this number to 16 with weighted averages. So if I don't like this idiot-girl at all then her mutliple is 3 so a smile to her equals 3 smiles so if I smile at her 4 times I'm already on 12 points.
If you factor in conversation then the forumla gets more complex. A conversation=2 smiles.
So if I have 2 conversations with idiot-girl then its' 2*3*2= 12 smiles.
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Readers:
I am sure you are intelligent enough to figure that this is not autobiographical. If you are not then maybe you need some IQ puzzle books and all to improve your brains a little.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Do you?

Do you have some gossip to share about your firm or someone else's? Send me stories identifying the firm and the situation. bshareen@gmail.com
Don't forget your credit card number.
Today Female Boss has put so much perfume I think she must be going to meet some very important Ministry. When meeting firangs she normally does not smell like a garland of roses. She laughs more, is freers. In the Ministry, she behaves very sober coz she is a woman like a respectful nayee bahu. Else they will think she is loose and client will get affected.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Club or something

Today I went to some cool dance bar called Elevate. Only there you don't have to throw notes to make them dance I mean if you look cool and think and if you have a work shirt with collar up and hair also up like you had one electric shock then you can just be the king man.
But it had a sad end coz after I observed all this and realized it was free then two-three girls were dancing on their own like they show in those cheap videos so I sort of inserted myself like a Mailmerge but they pushed me with their elbows dug so deep I had to scream.

Offline

I sometimes think I am a regular girl trapped in the immensely attractive body of a well-groomed Indian man.
Who do you think you are?

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Room-mate

Some girl I know is looking for a room-mate. I thought she was hinting I start living in with her but she was like Girls Only. E-mail me bshareen@gmail.com.