Friday, September 26, 2008

Superior Quality Writing for my Fine Readers

There are a few stray folks in this industry who like to think that it's like a Miss Word Contest. Everyone has to be ranked, that too in swimwear rounds.
For them: welcome to the anti-party (i.e. a concept that is diametrically opposite to the word "party"). Life is bigger than that, richer, and actually there is no one single race.

Separately, there was a constructive comment re my blog writing- there are too many connections made. I address this comment here. Regular readers, skip and move on to SEBI amendments. Over-reactive response (because I have like, so much time?):

True. I presume an evolved reader. And well, that is literary style dahling (or is that too girlish? why can only pretty girls be defensive and insecure and pass it off as cuteness?)

Connections in the literary worlds are tributes to the power of the metaphor: this silly blog is as good a place to learn about it as any. For example, the Shakespearean storms for turbluence (I got 94% in ICSE ). My favourite lands of metaphors are the writings of James Joyce and Virginia Woolf. This is different from magical realism where reality mingles with fantasy to evoke a feeling, a drama such as in Gabriel Garcia's fiction.

Now, take for example, the reference to Miss World in the first para of this post. The aspect of Ms. World invoked is: a focussed single competition with a large audience, and towards a dubious purpose, ironically of a feature-beauty-that even contestants admit cannot be measured; a competition which is almost a charade (as conveyed in the premise of the English-movie Ms. Congeniality).

I hope that was useful. I feel intellectual anyway.

At the cost of repition: when I write, I presume it is for evolved audiences. For the layman in Ahmedbabad, I write DRHPs.

[Over-reactive response ends]
Today is Saturday and man, I miss my bike. Esp in the Noida highway. It was fun being poorer. Bye-)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Sometimes the way bankers talk, I feel I work in an old age home not a law firm. "Woh jo tumhara senior tha- woh abhi hai ke gaya?"

When the answer is he has gone, I point to a star in the sky like the little Sikh boy from that Shah Rukh Khan movie that ended in a sari-girl losing a basketball game to win a guy who wore a cool chain.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sunday Stories

I dislike very few people. Very very few. To the vast majority of the rest, I am neutral. One good thing they do tends to counterbalance with an annoying thing but "net-net" as unposh people say, it is the same.

So unless you are in the special list of the very very few people, you are safe. Otherwise you need to run for insurance. Trust me. If not now, then 10 years later- you will be grateful for the insurance.

Anyway, I am planning to start another blog called Smug Housewife.

Today I was so tired from serving rotis. So I told the ayah to make thicker ones. That way the family would eat the same amount so I do not feel guilty of under-feeding. But it would not be spread out over so many tiny rotis.

In the name of thick rotis, Lakshmi made some hinjra-parathas. They looked like a cross between two nameless wheaties. I force-fed with such joy though once literally stuffing it inside a guest's mouth when he had covered his plate with his greasy fingers that nothing was noticed.

After the meal, I got her to make wafer thin rotis for myself and ate like a queen. A hungry queen.

Bye. Love most of y'all.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


They say I am not nice enough. (I also say that about others especially Slapping Girl-Associate who I just caught passing off my take on the future of futures as hers).

Anyway here is a poem.

Disclaimer: Once again, just becoz I can make words rhyme does not mean I am like some sort of Devdas- girls, please note that and control the urge to send me a smiley. I know when desparation is hiding in cuteness, which is, like everytime?

It's so easy being nice
I know from experience
I've tried it twice

*Separately, wanna-bes please note that in US lingo there is nothing like thrice. It's as odd to them as "seventhice" to us. So stop the ice at 2.

Monday, September 08, 2008


So many new amendments are flying around. The regulators are like Class X teeangers, changing their minds about the future course, like, every day.

By the way- is it girlish to say "like", like, a lot?

I do it when English fails me and so I create, like, an accent?

Slapping Girl Associate told someone, "Whaad- you like him? As in, you like-like him?" Shaking her fattening arms like a retired MTV VJ . The other girl shrugged and then they looked at me and started giggling.

I inspire shyness in women which is very encouraging. Sometimes the auditor also feels shy but that's because he is not still sure of Issue Procedure.

It's funny that if you are in India and say "dude he's got an accent" you mean a US/UK or at worst an Austrailian one, and it's assumed the dude is acting smart.

But if you are in the West (I visited Germany once, ya?) and they say,"dude, you've got an accent" it means a non-US/UK accent and it's assumed you are not the rich-classy-educated type.

This is getting too intellectual for y'all.

Go read all the amendments. Most will haunt you on the day before circulating the khokha of the DRHP. ASBA, ABBA, BASA and all that. Feel important. Feel free, feel the fee. That's the best part about lawyering and that's the part about best lawyering.

Bye dudes, I'm like, a little tired today? From over-work obviously.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008


Slapping Girl-Associate caught me reading a Tinkle. If things couldn't get more uncool, I was smiling at a story with Doob Doob the crocodile.
She said, "Oh I like mainstream children's literature as well... especially of the heartland kind." As usual thinking she is very intellectual (and pretty also).
So I was like, "Usually I have a colonized view of literature so anything Euro works."
This was a smart statement. It was actually a spoof on her shallow mind. It also redeemed the Tinkle.
Then she started complaining about how other counsel had not accepted her escrow agreement comments as if it was some sort of marriage proposals all strung into a Word garland.
Sometimes I feel like picking up a Tinkle and reading during long drafting sessions where the ILC is arguing with the auditor over comfort letter and I am a Co counsel. But to do all-that is bad and plus I would have to cover Tinkle in newspaper paper like girls do to MillsnBoon in school.
I've read enough MillsBoons to know that they are the cause of a lot of painful fairydust in women's eyes. I know you've read them too dudes, let's not be insecure. I've read enough Maxims to compensate for those anyway.
Bye. I know this wasn't funny but I am not paid to entertain you. Get out.