Sunday, April 29, 2007

Thoughts on a Sunday

Sometimes I think work is an orgy in the dark. You don't know who is getting screwed by whom.
Fuck is it whom or who? I hate poor grammar only excuse is tight timelines and all so you can get away putting half things in capitalized which you haven't even defined and other things in capitalized which you will never ever use (like Arre Anurag Srivastav from your batch- unless you SAY he is Ramu noone will know. So you have to put Ramu in brackets.)
Anyway bye for now fuckers go make someone else's life miserable, mine rocks bigtime. Two girls from Orkut who I met in T.C. sent me text messages and OK one was like a mass message but still. Better than getting 80% of your messages from fucking Airtel.
PS- I got to know people from Big 4 read this blog. We don't really think you exist except as one font 10 sized term sheet of Commercial Understanding. So don't act smart at meetings and pretend you have eaten cooler samosas with falafel and all foreign food stuffed inside. I'm more of a Dilli Haat kind of guy and I also write poetry. In fact this weekend I read (other than some Documents) the Humble Admistrator's Garden by Vikram Seth. The book is shaped like Mappings also by Vikram Seth. I mean, same size, font, general drift-it's a precedent almost. He talk of fish meandering among driftwood and how winter rain presses dust into earth. I love him and if I had a sister I would marry her to him. OK now read my poetry and feel intellectual:

Outside is calm
Calm is a word
Calm like the sea
Or the sky
But how serene is the
Restless foam
And the sky
So alone
Calm is a word
And the hollow inside a dead tree
Bleeds ants
And architecture
Also was made
By struggling men
Brick on sweltering brick
Again and again
So calm is a word
A cup of tea
An Agatha Christie mystery
A road bend
A perfectly crafted
DRHP document
Calm is a melody
But how tired must be those notes
(Like dancers forced to perform)
While the listener gloats
Calm is a word
And the fish that rest
Their breasts pressed to watery nests
Will streak the pond`
In a second
You're not surprised
For you have heard
Calm is a four letter word.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

He Man

Some girl was like Hey you played with HeMan when you were small?
So I go, no babes I am more of a G I Joe kind of guy.
Then she's like, so what video game is your favorite? I like Mario Brothers.
I know she's trying to be cool coz actually she can play Minesweeper [that's what she does while she isn't poking into her co-associate's work like a ferret] so I go: my favorite is and then I'm thinking fuck I don't know the cool new games. Fuck.
So I am like- I don't enjoy video games. I just like you know, and I stopped. And pretended to get distracted and said Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey like the cool dudes say Nice Earrings.
And then she starts shuffling all the paper [for Approvals Section] and says Thanks wanna borrow?
I said sure you want to borrow my shirt? I can also lend you know and slipped away from her Opium-perfumed cubicle like a bad memory.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Mausi recco

One associate from a big school in a big city was acting too cool with me. So when he left the table and then obviously he became the topic of the table I said, "He's great fun to work with, as long as he isn' t given a deadline."
This is what I call a Mausi-recco. Like the one given to Mausi of Sholay by Amitabh. A recommendation in bad faith, colored as an affectionate remark.
I am soon practicing to become the kind of Mausi reccos. Yeah he is good-looking especially when in college, like, he hadn't put on so much stress on his face then you know. Why am I talking about guy-looks, fuckers anyway just go finish your deadlines instead of wasting time here and then complaining that you have to work for so long. Suckers.

Friday, April 20, 2007

New girl

A new associate-girl is trying to act smart with me. I just ignore her in the corridors and smile at her in a ratio of1:5. Today I smiled at her twice so now I have to see her 8 times and not smile.
There is no other decent way to deal with all-this, I am telling you.

Thursday, April 19, 2007


The sea in the retreat is still singing in my ears. (That's how poetic I feel after finishing reviewing a shareholders' agreement of 3 Sindhi brothers for a brick-kiln company)
Soon they will start advertising justified as a strategy to to build up some glamour before the IPO and also to know some media people for Filmfare Awards passes.
In fact this client is most pro-active. He sends us associates sandwiches and vada paavs and all through the night, and also sent 2-3 stenos to help us format the document.
So basically we have no excuse coz usually the excuse is formatting na, documents getting corrupted and what not. These stenos do not work and are basically spies. One thin steno in the checkered shirt looks at me a little too much Ok and I am trying to draft Risks section hoping he will just leave me alone what have I done wearing such decent clothes and not even laughing-giggling too much

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Hi fuckers. I'm back after playing mindgames with y'all bitches. Yeah yeah yeah.
See I have also become cooler- way cooler fuckers.
The only problem is that the next retreat will be in some vague place in Nainital and it looks like (or to sound posher: apparently-see I have been brushing my English fuckers) Himesh Reshmaiyya has already been invited for a show.
Anyhow 2-3 girls in my colony have asked me how to get internships. This is too much, they didn't even play Holi with me last year like I was some sort of loafer.
(I'm not even that important or don't have locus as the NLS fucks would say) so I just said "we are not hiring now" like they were taxis or something coz otherwise they would feel I was not cool if I could not get them in and be some Jack or some slang they use. It is a meritocracy anyway.