Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Cosmopolitan-Type Post

10 Ways to Tell How is He by How He Uses the Stapler


Quick tips:

From how someone uses the stapler, you can tell how he is. Calm, nervous, organized, dreaming.

From the Managament chapter, you can tell how fine the English grammar of the craftsman is.

From the Definitions section, you can assess how detail-oriented the draft is. Watch out for those which have Working Days defined.

From the cover letter you can tell how deep the knowledge level is. Watch out for the two page flyers.

From a hassled look, you can tell that the person is substituing focus with food, car-maintenance and other thoughts.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Slapping Girl-Associate

Slapping Girl-Associate returned to office in the afternoon, hair open, party-eyed with rumpled collar, tinsel on cheekbone, and I knew she had attended an imaginary kick-off meeting.

Anyway I told her about government trust vote and all and she was like "big deal".

That's when you feel stupid; when you say something with spiked voice and big eyes, and then the other person lies: big deal.

Next time she mentions how data rooms are just bare walls and she is forced to sit there and how I should complain to Company on her behalf and tell-to-bankers, I will also say: big deal. Atleast in my mind.

She has put on 2-3 kilos. Her cheekbones have disappeared along with any office-morals.
Now I can see ger giggling on her desktop- I am sure someone on Google chat is flirting with her. It could even be me since I am also G-talking her now though in the same office. Y'll won't understand- it is a mid-20s Thing.

I will not tell her about weight gain and get booked for some harrassment thing. Who cares. Let her finish all the client-cookies. I have lost 1 kilo after I turned to low-fat milk. And that's what counts.

Monday, July 14, 2008

How Intellectual I Am

I am listening to the air
Hearing the quiet music there
Sense and cadence
Melodies bent by memories' lens
And look now
The sound wave curls
Like the hair
Of a favourite ghost


I hope y'all are suitably impressed. Don't write me any fan mail, women. Remember, all pre-offical mails will be vetted by Mummy and Menu Aunty also.

Bye. I am thinking of filing a PIL re how unclear the SCRR, 1957 is not clear in its letters and fetters, and I have locus and all that coz I am investor, a potential investor, an advisor to SEBI-registered intermediaries, and above all a lawyer.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Why You Are Probably Less Complex Than Me (I?)

I am beginning to develop a fresh persecution complex. This time it's not less attractive people are jealous therefore mean to me, less intelligent people are jealous therefore mean to me, other men are jealoustherefore mean to me.
It's the computer.
I don't download bad things, not even songs (coz I don't know too many English songs and it is so uncool to store Kaho Na Pyar Hai and all and listen that too on iPod nano). Still why is it that only my comp hangs, the mouse never obeys me and keyboard is totally out of sync?

Tuesday, July 08, 2008


The windows of the building open out like curious eyes. A creeper embroiders the brick, and when it rains, its leaves nod.

Yeah, I wrote that. If you like that kind of writing, then chances are I will like you. Not because you appreciated that, but because you liked what I wrote. People are like that, simple and easy to please.

Like Slapping Girl-Associate. I told her she is thinning like Kareena Kapoor and she smiled. In her mind, this was a compliment from an eligible boy, fair and well-placed, with car even.

I did not tell her I feel she looks like a fourteen year old boy, the one at the Mallad vegetable shop. Wonder why he smiles so much when he sees me; I feel like telling him you have got three nails painted red and a shirt that says Hey Barbie the joke is on you.


Anyway, a banker-boy with a thick voice called about research black-out dates and all, arguing why our note was more conservative than Chapter IX. I spoke to him for long and we are going for Maid of Honour on Friday.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008


Slapping Girl-Associate has regualarly started sending DRHPs called "work in progress draft" That way the Company can't bite if it doesn't see the college of a KMP put in though they did provide it in hard copy; and the Other Law Firm can't bite since it's only a WIP so chill.
It's like Google's Beta. It invites comments for betterment, not criticism.
I never send WIP drafts unless I have to. But that's like saying I never lie unless I have to. Depends on the subjective understanding of the term "I have to"
Anyway I know all this is getting too heavy for y'all who secretly want me to write about how well-preserved Chunky Pandey is.
Too bad. Only intellectual things this time.