Whites

Today again Girl Associate was praising random white guys. So I was like why what's even so great in them after all. She said they're "generally better" so I said OK fine your choice and looked at her as if I really cared about her reply.
Soon the boss came and I thought I will ask her again so the boss also hears (after all he is also Indian na) and cut her bonus also but by then she had already left and was at other end of the room drinking coffee and laughing with some other girl, probably being teased with me what else.

Friday plan

What will I do on Friday? I'll Google you'all fuckers what else.

Poetry for Non-Lovers

today I feel like
morning fog
like a
floating log
like
a lost song
like
the soil
like
a refrain
like
the paint of
a slow train
like
pain
like
winter rain
like
a chocolate gun
like
tired fun
like
someone else
who is
a bit
like myself
like
a refrain
like the the paint of
a slow train
like
winter rain......

Honeymoon

Watched Honeymoon Travels. Soon Sonu Nigam will be singing songs which fags sing for fags man.
They even showed legal counsel in the credits. I was praying it would not be my firm coz then I would feel like a loser not knowing what my own firm does. Or else I could pretend to be so high-end like a socialiate housewife who doesn't care what the servants are cooking in her own kitchen.
Some guy poked me in the movie hall and I started shouting then he said "side-dikh nahee raha hai" and I felt so dumb like Saira Banu fuckers, reaching for my floaters to hit him just coz he touched me in back of throat.

Stuff

I asked a boy his age and he's like, you shouldn't ask my age. I said OK then what's your salary? He looked at me like he was making fun but actually he was just hating me coz he had managed to have a talk with a pretty girl when I entered the scene. She also started joking and in all the haha hee I got friendly with the girl much more, fuckers.
She was flirting with me and I was flirting with her then this other dude was flirting with her and she was flirting with him then the girl left coz her husband called and then we two dudes were flirting with each other about something personal.

MTV

Where are the movies of the songs that come on MTV?
Anyway, two girls and one boy are leaving for one Magic-Realistic and one Tin Circle firm in the UK. What is this Magic Circle Silver Circle fucking Hobbits.
And what's Piquee? I heard someone's getting 3.14159265 Piquiee at some mid-level Manchester law firm.
Is Madonna still there or is she also like Mariyln? They look same to me.

Hairstyle

Girl-Associate has changed her hairstyle again. She is so desperate about attracting my attention.
I told her why don't you dye your hair. She said watching everyone first, in a sing-song voice like she is hurt I am not flirting with her: Why don't you just die?
It wasn't funny and I said in my best posh accent "what have i done to deserve such aggression?"
Saw how clever I am? This is the second best thing to hint after bad-character to a girl: that she is aggressive.
After that she has been smiling so much at me I feel I am carrying a camera slung over my shoulder taking photos. Idiot.

Roll out

I have heard some Bombay law firm is hiring Shah Rukh Khan in HR Roll Out. He will declare the numbers and some cheerleaders from YWCA are also there to squeal with organge pompoms like the fans used in the courts of Indian gods only more colorful.
And there is a round swimming pool with 3-4 girls floating and whoever gets put into any pool is picked up by all juniors and thrown in among more squeals and shouts.
Some bodyguards are also there so excited audience does not run into stage and indulge in vulgar behavior.

White

Some white has written to Girl Associate suddenly saying he has realized how much he loves her and misses her.
She was telling some cousin on phone arching her chair back and obviously I was meant to overhear. It was almost impolite to continue playing Minesweeper or walk away.
So naturally after she put down a phone with a "whatever" sort of Kareena Kapoor imitation (who imitates US high school girs who imitate Valley girls) I asked her who this fellow was and why she is considering him when 2-3 other guys were also there.
She stares at me and I know she is actually thinking of something witty and rude to say (all the time thinking she is looking pretty) so I told her "have some charachter."
That is best way to put down a girl is to say this. You don't have to say why etc. or even think that way deep in your heart.
Try its some time.

A.C.

HR has sent another spam- Summers are here and the wearing of colourful sweaters is discourgaed irregardless of the prevailing room temperatures.
This is too much. What's the problem? I look odd, climbing into an auto with a cardigan-what's their problem?
Only escape clause is colourful so Girl Associates have to remove there wannabe Resse Witherspoon baby pink sweaters and wear black and grey and all sober colors. I also have to pack my yellow sweater prints are too big that too of elephants.

Hack

Someone hacked into my account and did all this. I suspect it is the computer engineer. Fuck I thought his only job was to install spyware and read our LLM/job applications/V-Day cards and tabulate prospective moves.
Some bitchy girls would love his job, being paid to read and pass on the word about all sorts of personal mails.
Phone is also tapped I think which is why Boss has two phones. But can you tap your own phone? This is like the Santa-Banta joke, fuckers, where one snake asks another dude is our bite poisonous coz I just bit my lip.

Rinky

Today the sky is grey and my knees is paining more. I need to do that exercise by Ramdev but whole day plumber was here and in front of him I can't do.

Rinky is playing badminton every evening these days with colony-boys. I don't know how to explain to her to keep distance. Risk is that then she may start sending chits and flowers behind my back.

She is always on Internet also, some site called Orkooth. Again I said, don't mix too much with boys becoz I saw 2-3 passport sized photos of boys on that internet site. One's name was Ahmad, and had sharp features.

These days fate of children has to be left to god, they don't listen to anyone and don't count us as anything.

Alvida [as Happy the Lawyer]

Thanks for the stopping by and for your wonderful comments.

For the awesome girls who e-mailed me with flirts ["please do not publish this but i think you are really cute...xoxoxoxoxo"]: I am actually a woman and the straight male population is divided into the braver ones who have had a declared crush on me and those who had an undeclared crush.

And never fall in love with an online persona. And rarely with an offline one. And don't spend so much time online, seriously....

For the guys who asked me with a smile "do you know who writes this blog?" I knew that you already knew but I played along to humour your small thrills. I am smarter than you, don't forget that:-)


* * * * *
Awkay, saw I wrote this blawg in owrdere to experiment with my writing skills, and now I plan to write in the voice of a 43 year old housewife in Delhi.

Same blog, same writer.

It will suffer to the extent that the optimal language should be Hindi here, and what will arrive will be a self-translation.

OK then bye, keep phoning, and drive safely in Holi. If you had stayed on for a few more minutes, I would have packed you some stuffed mattar parathas, they are almost ready, but you say you are in a hurry. Tea is being made in the kitchen- why don't you have tea and then go? What's the hurry? Some girlfriend? Haha. Don't think I don't know. We were also your-age once.

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Putting Down

Some Girl-Associate was saying- I like white guys
So I said-so what, I like white girls.
So she narrowed her eyes like she was Rachel in Friends and say: So? Why are you fighting?
I just walked away like you pass a potted plant or a picture on the wall.
She sat down and went back to Google Talk so noone would notice I have put her down.